I Heart Vermont

On my recent trip to Georgia, I was once again reminded of the vast differences between the North and the South. I really think we should give some more thought to this whole secession thing -- we're already like two different countries. But, while I do love my family and friends in the South, this trip only cemented in my mind how much I love and appreciate Burlington and Vermont in general. So I thought I'd post a top ten list of things I love about Vermont.

Top Ten Things I Love About Burlington/Vermont: (not in order)

1. Great breakfast places: Sadie Katz, Penny Cluse, Magnolia's, Mirabelle's

2. Outdoor life -- the fact that you can walk, bike, ski, etc. to anywhere you want/need to go, besides the fact of just doing that stuff for fun

3. Shiny Happy People -- the most open, accepting, fun, spirited, socially conscious people I've met in any place I've ever lived; this is a place where truly anything goes

4. Lake Champlain and the Mountains

5. Size -- a big enough city to have culture and stuff to do, with a small-town feel, without much of the drama of a true small town

6. Photo opps!

7. Seasons -- four full, beautiful seasons (okay, Spring a.k.a. "mud season"...not so great; and yes, the Winter is long, gray, and cold; but both of those inconveniences are totally worth it for Summer and Fall!)

8. Green in so many ways -- landscape, ecology, attitude, education...

9. Blue Wave Taekwondo (so this one doesn't apply to everyone, but it's definitely on my list)

10. Maple Everything! yum...

Ode to the Girls

In honor of Rue McClanahan (who died yesterday), Bea Arthur and Estelle Getty (who have apparently already died, and I didn't realize it! :'-( ), and Betty White (who is, thankfully, still very much alive), I must write a tribute to my beloved Golden Girls. I have the entire series on DVD, and I have gone to them for comfort many times over through the years. Last night I had some cheesecake in their honor.

So here are my Top 5 Favorite Golden Girls Episodes (and my favorite quotes from each):

1. "The Way We Met"
[Dorothy and Rose are arguing over who gets the better room after Blanche promised it to
both of them; they flip a coin and Rose wins]
Rose: I'll make it up to you, Dorothy. I promise. Listen, if there's ever a night where you
can't sleep, I'll come to your room and sing "Kumbaya."
Dorothy: Oh, Rose, I don't know what to say. . . . Yes I do. Don't ever do that.

2. "My Brother, My Father"
[Sophia's brother/Dorothy's uncle Angelo, who's a priest, is visiting from Italy; Dorothy and
Stan are pretending to still be married; Rose and Blanche, who are acting in a local
production of The Sound of Music, enter dressed as nuns]
Rose: Hi, I'm Sister Rose
Blanche: And I'm Sister Blanche. We're, uh...
[looks at bra and panties in her hands]
Blanche: ...collecting lingerie for. . . needy sexy people.

3. "Valentine's Day"
[The girls reminisce about Valentine's Days past; in one memory, they're going on a cruise
with their boyfriends, and they're shopping to prepare]
Blanche: We are giong away on a romantic cruise to the Bahamas with Jeff and Rich and
Randy. In this day and age it might be a good idea to take along some protection.
Rose: What kind of protection?
Dorothy: Two armed Pinkerton guards! No, Blanche is talking about...
[drawing Rose's attention to items on a nearby shelf]
Rose: A Nestle's Crunch?
Dorothy: One over.
Rose: An enema bag?
Dorothy: To the right.
Rose: Dentu-Grip?
Dorothy: Condoms, Rose! Condoms! Condoms! Condoms!
Drug Store Clerk: Hey, take it easy lady! You just get out of prison?

4. "Isn't It Romantic?"
[Dorothy's friend Jean develops a crush on Rose]
Sophia: Jean thinks she's in love with Rose.
Blanche: Rose? Jean has the hots for Rose? I don't believe it! I do not believe it!
Dorothy: I was pretty surprised myself.
Blanche: Well, I bet! To think Jean would prefer Rose over me, now that's ridiculous!

5. "Sophia's Choice"
[Sophia's upset over the treatment of her friend in a nursing home; meanwhile, Blanche
decides to use her bonus to get breast implants]
Sophia: Why do we let things like this happen? Why can't we take care of our elderly like
they do in Japan? Why are there 17 sets of hooters on the coffee table?!
Blanche: Oh, those are mine, Sophia.
Sophia: Oh, well let me put on my big "surprise face"!


Thank you all for being friends, girls.

Who Makes These Lists?

A few years back, the Modern Library published their list of the Top 100 Best Novels -- a board's list and a reader's list. And so, being the list lover (and book lover) that I am, I immediately set out to find out how many of those I had read, and then subsequently vowed to fill in the gaps on both lists. Then I got to James Joyce's Ulysses (which is #1 on the board's list and #11 on the reader's list), and I decided these kinds of self-imposed challenges are silly.

Then recently I was looking for something good to read, so I thought, hey, why not recommit myself to this quest? So I made a list of all the books I've already read and those I'd need to read to complete both the board's and the reader's lists.

I saw Ulysses again, I vowed to power through it this time. Then I saw Finnegan's Wake, another Joycean masterwork. The inclusion of this book on the list makes me seriously question the lives and minds of the listmakers. For those who aren't familiar with this title, let me quote a paragraph from the first page of the novel (which, by the way is often cited as "comic fiction"):


The fall (bababadalgharaghtakamminarronnkonnbronntonner-
ronntuonnthunntrovarrhounawnskawntoohoohoordenenthur-
nuk!) of a once wallstrait oldparr is retaled early in bed and later
on life down through all christian minstrelsy. The great fall of the
offwall entailed at such short notice the pftjschute of Finnegan,
erse solid man, that the humptyhillhead of humself prumptly sends
an unquiring one well to the west in quest of his tumptytumtoes:
and their upturnpikepointandplace is at the knock out in the park
where oranges have been laid to rust upon the green since dev-
linsfirst loved livvy.

Really??! I have a very difficult time believing enough people have read this to warrant a place on the Top 100!

I've decided I'm ok with my incomplete list.

Lost and Found

For six years, I have been a devoted follower of Lost. I've watched it by myself, with friends, with my Mom (I consider getting her hooked a big achievement!); I've pondered it, discussed it, written about it -- even presented on it at a national conference (Popular Culture Association). And now that it's over I find myself...well, lost...in a way. Not necessarily because I have all this free time and no show to watch (because, believe me, I have plenty), but moreso because of the things I've observed about humanity revolving around this show.

Through the years, I've endured lots of ridicule and harrassment from "non-believers," who say, "It's just a tv show -- what's the big deal?", implying that only an imbecile would get so wrapped up in a tv show that it would affect her world. I've encountered all kinds of reactions to it -- people love it, hate it, claim they "can't be bothered" by it (as they sit down religiously each week to watch it). What I've noticed is that, by and large, admitting to being devoted (as I have just done) and discussing it as though the characters were real makes you at best uncool and at worst emotionally disturbed and unstable. I gather that the "cool" attitude would be to either not watch it at all (because you're too busy, have more important things to do, or are categorically against television), or to watch it but maintain a disaffected, take-it-or-leave-it attitude about it. What's cool about apathy? What's wrong with admitting you like something? What's wrong with admitting that fictional characters and their situations affect our lives, and that that doesn't make us childish or crazy?

I've also encountered people who love to deconstruct the show and expose all its anachronisms and "unrealistic" situations. I suppose if you can pick a show apart and destroy its logic, you can use that as an excuse for watching it religiously? Maybe it makes them feel somehow "smarter" or less vulnerable -- like they haven't been fooled by the show's writers or whatever.

The truth is, our lives revolve around stories. Everyone has a story. Stories feed us and fulfill us, whether they're true or not. So of course we're drawn to complicated, interwoven plots and characters we can identify with. Of course those characters' stories affect us. I think all of this "covering" is just people being afraid to admit how deeply these stories do run. Don't get me wrong -- I'm not suggesting that everyone around the world secretly loves Lost, even if they say they don't -- I'm simply saying that television (and movies, and books, and any form of narrative) directly affects who we are. And admitting that means opening yourself up to participate in a conversation that you're already a part of.

One of my ex-students emailed me today and said, "I can't believe Lost is over. I really can't believe that when it started I was reading Lord of the Flies in your tenth grade class, and now I'm applying for grad school!" That made me think: because of Lost, I've made some lifelong friends, I've had some highly philosophical discussions that have changed the way I saw the world, and I've grown as a person. The show's life has seen me through a very momentous time in my own life -- I have fully engaged with its stories, and those stories have helped me understand myself. And no matter the content of the show (I wasn't particularly thrilled with the ending), I am a richer person for having watched it.

When Does "Free" Become a Burden?

I like Craig's List. Really. I think it's one of the greatest things to come out of this Internet thing. And I especially like that people use the "free" category to pass on their hoardes of stuff that might be useful to someone else. Canned cat food, pvc pipe, frames without glass, stained mattresses, lawn gnomes (last year's model). These are just a few of the items listed today in Burlington's free section.

But here's where I draw the line: Diaphragm, only used once. First come, first served.

No, I am not making this up.

When Things Fall Into Place

Lately I've been thinking a lot about how the universe works, and about the Law of Attraction. Despite what I know about how you have to give off light to attract it, it's always a struggle for me. I have to keep reminding myself to think positively, and I constantly catch myself slipping back into "woe is me" sort of negative thoughts.

Today I had a sort of epiphany: everyone struggles with this same concept. I don't think maintaining a regiment of positive thought is easy for anyone. And in the end it's our intention that matters, moreso than our actual output. I was getting overwhelmed with anxiety that I was sending out negative energy into the world, despite my best efforts at avoiding that, to the point where I had become afraid to feel "bad." But I realized that 1)it's ok to feel bad sometimes, and 2)feeling bad doesn't automatically mean bad things will happen to you -- it's your intention and your reaction that matter. Allowing yourself the space to feel whatever you're feeling is an important step in getting yourself to the point where you can see the positive and reflect that positivity back to the universe. You can't have the yin without the yang, and vice versa.

Recently some key aspects of my life have clicked into place. Without really much searching, I found a very sweet housing situation -- one which met all of the criteria I had laid out for my "perfect house" -- including cost. And now, it seems, the same can be said of my job situation. I can't say it's happened without much searching -- or anxiety and doom, for that matter -- but I can say that I'm entering one of those moments when I'm seeing first-hand that things happen for a reason. The universe puts you where you need to be until everything falls into place and you're ready to "move."

So this weekend I'll be doing a lot of moving, in many senses of the word.

Homemade Mother's Day

Student A: What's that? [points to the card in Student B's hand]

Student B: Mother's Day card. I made it in Graphic Design.

Student A: Who'd you make it for?

Student B: Who do you make your Mother's Day cards for, your girlfriend?