I'm Lovin' It

Today I discovered another reason not to eat at McDonald's that has nothing to do with how unhealthy it is. OK, maybe a little to do with health.

I sauntered up to the counter and ordered a Crispy Chicken Ranch BLT with cheese, to which the register girl said, "I'm confused." I was confused too -- I wasn't sure how to break it down any further than that, especially since my order was taken directly from the large neon menus above my head.

I tried again: "I'd like a Ranch BLT with crispy chicken, and I'd like to add cheese to that."

"I definitely don't know what you're asking," she said. Well, at least she was definite about something.

Oddly enough, the food came to me exactly as I had envisioned it would, despite her unresolved confusion. And here's the part where I once again thought (as I have MANY times before) I have to stop eating at McDonald's. The box in which the sandwich was nestled bore a warning: Product may contain chicken and/or bacon. There are two things that worry me about this statement:

a) The existence of the warning in the first place. Picture it: you have asked for and purchased a sandwich bearing the name "Crispy Chicken Ranch BLT." Because you have spent a significant amount of time frequenting fast food joints and grills across America, you recognize that the acronym "BLT" stands for "Bacon, Lettuce, and Tomato." Unlike many of life's messy experiences, this order presents a very predictable, black-and-white situation for you. Then you open up your sandwich and, to your utter surprise, the sandwhich is filled with -- what? -- chicken and bacon! But wait -- they didn't warn you -- and you're allergic to chicken and bacon -- how could you have known? Oh, the humanity.

b) The words "may" and "and/or." As explained in the above statement, when I order a sandwich with both chicken and bacon in the name, I do not expect it to be a game of Russian Roulette. I don't expect to have to consider the odds. I pretty much expect -- demand, even -- that my "product" does contain both chicken and bacon. But then again, I'm told I'm "high maintenance."