Lost and Found

For six years, I have been a devoted follower of Lost. I've watched it by myself, with friends, with my Mom (I consider getting her hooked a big achievement!); I've pondered it, discussed it, written about it -- even presented on it at a national conference (Popular Culture Association). And now that it's over I find myself...well, lost...in a way. Not necessarily because I have all this free time and no show to watch (because, believe me, I have plenty), but moreso because of the things I've observed about humanity revolving around this show.

Through the years, I've endured lots of ridicule and harrassment from "non-believers," who say, "It's just a tv show -- what's the big deal?", implying that only an imbecile would get so wrapped up in a tv show that it would affect her world. I've encountered all kinds of reactions to it -- people love it, hate it, claim they "can't be bothered" by it (as they sit down religiously each week to watch it). What I've noticed is that, by and large, admitting to being devoted (as I have just done) and discussing it as though the characters were real makes you at best uncool and at worst emotionally disturbed and unstable. I gather that the "cool" attitude would be to either not watch it at all (because you're too busy, have more important things to do, or are categorically against television), or to watch it but maintain a disaffected, take-it-or-leave-it attitude about it. What's cool about apathy? What's wrong with admitting you like something? What's wrong with admitting that fictional characters and their situations affect our lives, and that that doesn't make us childish or crazy?

I've also encountered people who love to deconstruct the show and expose all its anachronisms and "unrealistic" situations. I suppose if you can pick a show apart and destroy its logic, you can use that as an excuse for watching it religiously? Maybe it makes them feel somehow "smarter" or less vulnerable -- like they haven't been fooled by the show's writers or whatever.

The truth is, our lives revolve around stories. Everyone has a story. Stories feed us and fulfill us, whether they're true or not. So of course we're drawn to complicated, interwoven plots and characters we can identify with. Of course those characters' stories affect us. I think all of this "covering" is just people being afraid to admit how deeply these stories do run. Don't get me wrong -- I'm not suggesting that everyone around the world secretly loves Lost, even if they say they don't -- I'm simply saying that television (and movies, and books, and any form of narrative) directly affects who we are. And admitting that means opening yourself up to participate in a conversation that you're already a part of.

One of my ex-students emailed me today and said, "I can't believe Lost is over. I really can't believe that when it started I was reading Lord of the Flies in your tenth grade class, and now I'm applying for grad school!" That made me think: because of Lost, I've made some lifelong friends, I've had some highly philosophical discussions that have changed the way I saw the world, and I've grown as a person. The show's life has seen me through a very momentous time in my own life -- I have fully engaged with its stories, and those stories have helped me understand myself. And no matter the content of the show (I wasn't particularly thrilled with the ending), I am a richer person for having watched it.

When Does "Free" Become a Burden?

I like Craig's List. Really. I think it's one of the greatest things to come out of this Internet thing. And I especially like that people use the "free" category to pass on their hoardes of stuff that might be useful to someone else. Canned cat food, pvc pipe, frames without glass, stained mattresses, lawn gnomes (last year's model). These are just a few of the items listed today in Burlington's free section.

But here's where I draw the line: Diaphragm, only used once. First come, first served.

No, I am not making this up.

When Things Fall Into Place

Lately I've been thinking a lot about how the universe works, and about the Law of Attraction. Despite what I know about how you have to give off light to attract it, it's always a struggle for me. I have to keep reminding myself to think positively, and I constantly catch myself slipping back into "woe is me" sort of negative thoughts.

Today I had a sort of epiphany: everyone struggles with this same concept. I don't think maintaining a regiment of positive thought is easy for anyone. And in the end it's our intention that matters, moreso than our actual output. I was getting overwhelmed with anxiety that I was sending out negative energy into the world, despite my best efforts at avoiding that, to the point where I had become afraid to feel "bad." But I realized that 1)it's ok to feel bad sometimes, and 2)feeling bad doesn't automatically mean bad things will happen to you -- it's your intention and your reaction that matter. Allowing yourself the space to feel whatever you're feeling is an important step in getting yourself to the point where you can see the positive and reflect that positivity back to the universe. You can't have the yin without the yang, and vice versa.

Recently some key aspects of my life have clicked into place. Without really much searching, I found a very sweet housing situation -- one which met all of the criteria I had laid out for my "perfect house" -- including cost. And now, it seems, the same can be said of my job situation. I can't say it's happened without much searching -- or anxiety and doom, for that matter -- but I can say that I'm entering one of those moments when I'm seeing first-hand that things happen for a reason. The universe puts you where you need to be until everything falls into place and you're ready to "move."

So this weekend I'll be doing a lot of moving, in many senses of the word.

Homemade Mother's Day

Student A: What's that? [points to the card in Student B's hand]

Student B: Mother's Day card. I made it in Graphic Design.

Student A: Who'd you make it for?

Student B: Who do you make your Mother's Day cards for, your girlfriend?