Friendly Conversation

Haven't posted in a LONG time, so I'll ease back in with this riveting conversation I overheard while dining at Friendly's the other day:

[special note: these girls were NOT being sarcastic]

GIRL 1: So I'm on my way out the door this morning -- late of course -- and he decides he wants to "talk." [actual air quotes were visible] I mean, every time I want to talk, he's too busy watching the game or whatever, but when I'm in a hurry, then he wants to talk. [huffs loudly]

GIRL 2: Jesus.

1: I know, right?

2: So what was the big deal?

1: Oh, get this: he says he wants to talk about my drinking. Says he really wishes I'd quit drinking.

2: You mean totally? Like, NEVER drink?

1: That's what I said! I'm like, "Dude, you've GOT to be kidding me. Practically the only time I'm happy is when I'm wasted." [is it me, or should this have been a sign to her?] So he's like, "Well, why can't we have fun without drinking? I mean, you know I don't drink -- can't you at least quit drinking when you're with me?"

2: Psshh -- as IF!

1: I know, right? So I'm like, "Well, you know I DO drink, so can't you just START drinking when you're around ME?"

2: omg [these letters were her actual words], what did he say?

1: Huh! This is the best part! He's like, "C'mon, Baby, you know I'm an alcoholic!" [laughs uncontrollably] I mean, can you beLIEVE this guy? Could he BE more selfish?

2: Jesus, Lisa, when're you gonna drop his ass?